Disconnected {Some Thoughts on Life}

I feel so detached from my life lately. I’ve gone through most of my adult life like this, forgetting to stop and soak up the moment and really realize what is going on, but since I became a mother, it has worsened. I am on auto-pilot most days, just going through the motions, never giving my undivided attention to any moment. I only realize this when my husband talks about something we did together last week or when I try to recall a memory he believes I should have involving our son. I really need to work on slowing down and being able to be in the moment and really soak it all up. I am missing out on so much. My son does new things every day and I can barely recall the details of some of the most important moments in his life to date, like when he first walked. I just can’t remember the details, only that he got up and walked! Thankfully my husband has a good memory, but I don’t want to keep living on auto-pilot.

Do you ever feel disconnected from life?

What do you do to bring yourself back?

 

5 Cloth Diapering Must-haves

Cloth diapering my son is one of my favorite decisions I have ever made. I don’t think it’s hard at all because I have been doing it for so long that I don’t remember what it was like to do disposables! I don’t mind doing laundry every day, because I would be doing it every day anyway since I don’t like for clothes to just sit around waiting to be washed. And I don’t mind getting poop on my hands every now and then because, well, I’m a mom, and that just comes with the territory. I know cloth diapering is not for everyone, and everyone who cloth diapers has a different way of doing things. I just want to share a few things that work for me, or that have made cloth diapering easier.

1. bumGenius Diaper Sprayer

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This is one of those items that you either love or hate. I happen to love it! I did just fine the first 10 months of cloth diapering without one, but then I saw this thing at a yard sale and she practically gave it to me, so I decided to give it a try and I can’t imagine not having one now. Now, you really need to be able to control your squeeze when operating this sprayer. So, normally men don’t do well with this thing. My husband tried it once and poop flew everywhere. It was pretty bad. Just remember that the first time you use one.

2. GroVia Wetbag

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We take weekend trips to Phoenix to see the in-laws and I normally either do disposables for the weekend or I do the biodegradable inserts and the gDiapers, but now that I have these wet bags I just cloth diaper the whole weekend! Seriously, not one whiff of stink escapes from the top of this thing. I am able to keep my diapers in the bag until we get home where I can toss everything in the washer! I love these bags.

3. Hemp Doublers {Inserts}

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I almost gave up on cloth diapering. Milo was about 5 months old and he was soaking his diapers every night. I was so frustrated. I tried to double up with some newborn inserts that I had, but that didn’t help, so I did some research and decided to buy 3 hemp inserts. Haven’t had a leak since! Don’t let these skinny, little inserts fool you! They can absorb a sink full of water. Well, maybe not that much, but you get the point. I just stick one of these inserts in with his regular one for his nighttime diaper and he’s good to go for the next 8 hours or so. If you’re new to cloth diapering and are having problems with leaks, get yourself some of these things!

4. Ecos Free & Clear Detergent

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Most of us cloth diapering mommas have learned the hard way that we can’t use our favorite smell-good detergent on our cloth diapers. It seems to work (somehow) for some people, but for most of us, we have had to consult this wonderful chart  that rates how safe detergents are for cloth diapers. Ecos Free & Clear just happens to be available at my local grocery for a reasonable price, so this is the one I have used for a long time. I did use Rockin’ Green, but the bags are so small and last about a month while this thing is the same price and will last me about 5 months. If you’re thinking about cloth diapering, check this chart out beforehand. CD’s do require a little extra care, which includes using the right detergent.

5. gDiapers Disposable Inserts

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I know I said I use my wetbags when I travel, and I do for short, weekend trips. For the longer trips, {like the one we are taking to England in October!!} I like to use my little gPants along with these biodegradable inserts. It’s just easier to tote around a few diaper shells than it is to tote around a days worth of dirty cloth diapers. I can just throw the gPants in with our normal laundry and toss the insert in the garbage. I think they do say the are flushable, but I believe I have tried flushing one before and it didn’t go down so well. Anyway, it’s worth a try if you’re still using disposables when you travel. At least these are biodegradable and you can keep reusing the shell until it gets soiled, if it ever does. I’ve also used Honest diapers while traveling, and they held up pretty well. Plus they are super adorable with all the different designs.

Anyway, those are my cloth diapering must-haves. I mean, I could definitely get by without them, heck, people were doing it for thousands of years before the 20th century, but these things make it a lot easier for me to keep going.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Honest Diapers are Non-Toxic, Eco-Friendly, and Fashionable. Learn More!

SAHM woes

Man, I am not looking forward to this week. I start my internship, which means I have to leave my baby at daycare for the first time in his 19 months. I went to bed last night with that terrible feeling in my stomach, the one that I imagine 50 year olds get the night before their first colonoscopy.

I’m scared.

What if he thinks I’ve abandoned him?

What if he doesn’t want to leave because they gave him processed, sugar-filled cookies and kool-aid?

I guess those are my only two main concerns. I’m not just putting him in daycare (for less than 8 hours a week, by the way!) because of my internship, although I will admit that if it weren’t for this opportunity, I would never enroll him in daycare, but he also needs some socialization and to learn to be without me. I have so enjoyed spending every day with my baby boy, but it’s time for him to realize that while I am the the provider of food, drink, and pixar movies, other people can do these things as well. I think I am really just worried that the daycare workers are completely incompetent and, while they successfully take are of other peoples children, they will have no idea how to care for MY child. There, I said it.

I have come across a few articles that are reassuring me, along with some words from a few friends who say that their kids cried and cried for the first week or two, but after that, they loved going to daycare:

Separation Anxiety: Helping the First Day of Daycare Go Smoothly

Toddlers in Daycare

Both of these articles suggest that we visit the daycare for an hour or so before the first day that I leave him. Looks like that is the plan for today!

Anyone else dealt with this around the age of 18 months?

Mothers: We all deserve respect

I’m sure most of  you have seen this sign floating around Pinterest or even on your Facebook news feed. I didn’t really care for it the first 10 times I saw it.  I just thought, “how arrogant and insensitive”, but now, after having seen it for the 37th time, I have arrived to the point where I feel the need to respond to this haughty sign.

My main question is: What the hell do you think I do all day? 

Do you imagine me gracefully getting out of bed at 9:30am, well rested, singing A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes while little mice and birdies dress me? Then I go downstairs, dressed and groomed, enjoy a nice cup of coffee while I read the newspaper and fix myself eggs benedict. Oh, and when I’m ready, fed and caffeinated, I go into my child’s room and, oh look!, he’s standing up in his crib, cute as ever, waiting for me to sweep him out of his crib (that he loves so much, he sleeps in it every night, uninterrupted).  I place him on his changing table and dress him in his Ralph Lauren outfit, since I am going shopping with 10 of my girlfriends later.  Then I take him downstairs and sit him in his highchair and I watch FoxNews and chat on Facebook with my friends while he eats breakfast all by himself. I then enjoy another cup of coffee.  After breakfast, I decide that I want to workout, so he plays peacefully with toy trains while I enjoy 1 hour of aerobics.  Then I take a nice, long, hot shower.  I think I might have one more cup of coffee since it’s only noon.  We enjoy a nice afternoon, shopping, spending all of my husband’s money.  At about 5pm, my son is ready for a bath, and then right after that, it’s bedtime.  I have the whole evening for me and my husband.  We slip into bed at around 9:30 and have sweet, uninterrupted sex, and then sweet, uninterrupted dreams.

Puh-leeze.

I don’t have to tell you that I haven’t slept past 6am in over 10 months.  I haven’t slept a full night in over 10 months.  I rarely get to dress and groom myself in the morning.  I normally wake up in a puddle of pee (cloth diaper problem) because my son decided his crib is actually a jail cell somewhere around 1:47am and woke up in a full panic!  I tripped over some jingling, squeaking elephant toy that he never plays with and made all 3 dogs start barking.  I wear my “pee clothes” until about noon, when I finally get to shower. It’s not a “nice, long, hot shower” because my son has learned that the water faucet knob moves and moving the faucet knob is the only thing that will keep him from throwing himself down on the floor in a fit of rage.  If I’m being honest, I get poop on my hand at least once a day.  My kid does go to sleep at about 7pm, but then he wakes up at 9pm…then 12am…then 2am…and so on.  And sex? Isn’t that what got me into all this in the first place? Besides that, my husband is deployed.

I think the thing that annoys me the most is that all mothers, whether you are a full-time, part-time, or stay-at-home mother, makes sacrifices.  We all know that it’s a tough job.  It’s a rewarding job, but it’s tough.  At the end of the day (which, for me, is right after dinner and right before bath time, when Miles is too tired to act like a normal human being, but not sleepy enough to go to sleep) I sometimes want to shoot myself.  Not literally, of course, but I get stressed from the day, too! My point with the above illustration is that it is not real for any mother.  If you have a full-time job then you wake up early, go to work, and come home to all that chaos.  If you stay home, you wake up early, go to work (since staying home with kids is definitely work), and you never leave that chaos.  Both situations involve sacrifice.  Why try to act like you’re superior to me just because you make a different sacrifice than I do.  You’re no better just because you have to, or chose to work. We are all doing the best we can for our children.  Why can’t that be enough? Why can’t we all get the same amount of recognition and respect?

Just though I’d get that off my chest.  Hope you have a wonderful weekend!