Goodbye, July!

In case you weren’t aware, today is the last day of July. Which means August is here.

School.

I am returning after a half semester break, which puts me a half of a semester behind, meaning I won’t graduate until December 2013 now. No big deal since I’ll just be going right back for my Masters. Anyway, I’m pretty worried about the upcoming semester. Miles is much busier than he was the last time I took classes.  It is definitely going to be challenging to get through these next 2.5 semesters, but many moms before me have done it, and by golly, I’m going to do it, too! I didn’t get this far just to throw in the towel and make excuses. Okay, now I’m quite excited! I received a few of my text books in the mail today. I am taking a marriage counseling and a child development class, and I am so excited for both of them. Not only because they pertain directly to my career, but also becauseI have a husband and a child and I’m getting a professional education in how to take care of both of them! I mean, I know that experience and time are probably the best teachers, but a few senior level college classes can only help, right?

In other news, my blog-iversary is fast-approaching and I have no idea how I want to celebrate! Last year, I celebrated with tilapia over cilantro-lim rice for a healthy break from my sweets kick. I might craft something instead of making food since my blog-iversary is also the first day of school. Oh, and my husband will be home two days after that! I’m really excited to have our little family back together for a couple of weeks before he leaves again. Partly because we are planning a trip to Matt’s Big Breakfast one day while he is home. I dream about that day…waffles and Sam..mmm.

Okay, that is all! Have a great Tuesday!

 

So this is life?

I am officially stressed out. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been like this. Not because I’ve been spoiled, but because I’ve always had such a positive outlook on life and I knew that “stress” was just something that other people let happen to them. I still believe that, but I have let it happen to me. 

Here’s my deal: I am two and one half semesters away from completing my undergraduate degree, then I will go straight on to graduate school because it is nearly impossible to get a respectable job with a psychology degree with a concentration in marriage and family therapy.  The thing is, I have this new baby. I thought I could jump back in to school with both feet, so I registered for a full 12 hour semester. 

It’s kicking my butt. 

I spend almost all of my time taking care of and playing with Milo. When he sleeps, I am doing homework. My house is suffering big time, and so is my poor husband, my nails, my dog, my body, and my life in general.  Is this how it’s supposed to be?

What I mean is, is this really acceptable to people? Sacrificing your happiness, time with your family, caring for your mind and body, all for a piece of paper that says your smart in something, when in all actuality you only remember about 7% of what you learned? Is it really worth it?

This is just my personal experience. I really like to live life slowly. I like to slowly wake up in the mornings, enjoy a nice cup of coffee while I watch the news or read about it. Then I like to take a walk or workout, then a shower, then whatever else I want to do. All while holding Miles, of course. (Thank God that I have the option to live my life this way) Isn’t this how life should be? If this is how I am happy then shouldn’t I be doing what makes me happiest? Is it really worth it to sacrifice a few more stressful, unhappy years on a degree for a career that I am not even 100% sure I’m dedicated to anymore? I do want to be a marriage and family counselor, but stepping back and taking a look at my life, I am not sure how important it rates anymore. It used to be the thing that I lived for, my purpose in life! Now I have these people that I have to take care of and nurture and I’m just going to be adding more in a few years, and how can I take care of them if I’m not taking care of myself? 

Coming from me, this is all so dramatic. Haha. I am cracking up at the amount of feeling and emotion in this post, but I really am asking myself all these questions and I’m going through a serious priority shift and having a hard time finding the right place for everything. Right now Miles is first, school is second and everything after that is all jumbled up. But I’m not happy this way. I just don’t feel super dedicated to school anymore and I feel like it doesn’t deserve such a high spot on my list of priorities right now. 

If this is life, then this sucks. Should it suck? I don’t know, I guess it depends on who you are and what your priorities are. For me, I don’t think life should suck and I don’t believe in sacrificing happiness for anything. Now I just need to make a few decisions for myself, and they are going to require some time, but that’s hilarious, because I don’t have any time. Hahahahahahaha. I’m going nuts.