Okay, so I think I can feel myself dilating. Maybe that is weird, or impossible, but that is what it feels like it, and I am really hoping I am right because I am just about 37 weeks pregnant, so this baby is more than welcome to evacuate my womb anytime now. I love you, Miles, but I am tired of sharing my body with you. I am ready to wear my size 2 jeans again, and my size 6 1/2 shoes, please! I am also ready to have a big Italian margarita, a rum and coke, and a bottle of wine, not all in the same sitting, but possibly.
So, here I am, thirty-six and a half weeks along in my pregnancy and 30lbs heavier than I ever imagined I’d be. Thank the Lord in Heaven that I do not have any stretch marks (yet). I say “yet” because I still have 3ish weeks to go and He could decide to curse me between now and then. I say “curse” because it really is unfortunate when a women gets stretch marks. I mean, you can try and make yourself feel better by calling them “trophies” or whatever name you want to put on them, but I’d much rather do without those so-called prizes for surviving pregnancy. I can use my child as proof of that, thank you very much! So how am I feeling right about now? Well, 3 of my fingers on my right hand are numb, I don’t know where my ankles are hiding, and my son likes to punch me in the cervix. There are some moments of relief, however. Sam and I attended a “Baby Boot Camp” on Friday and he got to wear a 30lb empathy belly. The belly constricted his breathing a little and put a little extra weight on his bladder, gave him a nice rack and a huge belly, and gave me a few giggles.
He was a good sport about it, but pointed out that he just returned from Afghanistan where he had to wear 60lbs (or so he says) of gear every day, so the belly was nothing to him. I wish there was a way to give him the extra blood and fluid and maybe put a real baby inside of him. He also gave our baby for the day, which was an Asian baby girl doll, a sponge bath and changed a fake-poopy diaper. I’d say he’s pretty much ready for Miles to get here. We had our maternity photo shoot yesterday evening, which went pretty well. Hmmm..I can’t think of any other updates that I haven’t covered. Oh!! Miles is head down and the doctor said his head was a normal size. That is great news for me since my husband has a gigantic head and all I can think about when I look at his head is Miles and pain and death. Okay, well, I am done for the night. Have a great night, everyone!